http://www.thespaceponies.com/images/banners/ponyicon.png

After years of the same standard of products, Stardock announces a change in the Consumer Products division. Angela Marshall, former VP of Operations, was named as the new President of Consumer Products. This change came after years of market research and change in the global market. “I know what needs to be done with this company, and I will get it done”, says Marshall.

Marshall is a 14 year veteran of the company and has seen it grow from a three person shop to around 75+ employees and contractors. “We feel she has a firm grasp on what our customers want”, says Mike Crassweller of Stardock’s publishing group, “we are excited to see what these changes will create”.

Marshall held a company press conference early this morning explaining the business plan that she has created for the upcoming year. “It’s bold”, says Shirley Hendzell of Stardock, “But I like it!” Other comments from Stardock staff were positive and all acknowledged that tough economic times require drastic changes to stay competitive.

Stardock will not release the entire new plan, but Marshall did talk about some highlights: “We will be closely looking at our product lineup and revamping a lot of it to meet some key market areas that we are not reaching,” Marshall said. “I feel strongly that we are missing out on female, metro-sexual and alternative lifestyle customers.” Marshall announced that the first project to be put in play will be a Sins of the Solar Empire spin off called “Pink Space Ponies”. “Pink Space Ponies is a phenomenon from the original Sins of a Solar Empire game. It created fan sites as well as a booming business in Pink Space Pony hats.” After doing research, we discovered that she was correct. The Pink Space Pony site can be found at: http://www.thespaceponies.com/ and a hat can be purchased from: http://www.darkstaroutpost.com/.

Marshall stated that the changes will not stop there. “We need to revamp our infrastructure.” She said. “Computer programmers are typically male, mainly because more men get programming degrees. However, I feel that we need more females involved in the game process to make the games appeal to our female customers. Elemental is one of the titles that I have been reviewing. It’s great that it is fantasy based, but it definitely is lacking a “Brad Pitt” like character for the women to connect with.”

Marshall also announced layoffs of all the support personnel to make way for hiring out of work hairdressers. “I feel that customers would rather talk to a caring customer representative than a technical geek. Sure, they might not actually get their problem solved, but they will feel good about themselves.” Any other changes to be made? “Of course!” states Marshall, “We also have plans for more pink, purple and baby blue suites and themes for MyColors and WinCustomize”.

If you have any comments or suggestions for Angela Marshall, please email them to: April1@stardock.com


Comments (Page 4)
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on Apr 02, 2009

HEY! That's a great idea for the next Galciv Project. To boost your cultural influence or keep the population happy build pink pony riding facilities.

As for hair dressers: Dunno would probably be a good idea to hire some as support staff supervisors or to hold courses in customer orientation. 

on Apr 02, 2009

 

Is Ms. Marshall a female, metro-sexual or an alternative lifestyle human being?

I'm a metro-sexual female that lives with monkeys...is that so wrong?  It's also yet to be proven that I am indeed "human".  Jeeze...so judgemental. 

on Apr 02, 2009

metro-sexual female

That's a contradiction since metrosexual is specifically describing males. So, your statement can be as disturbing as someone's mind can make it, especially combined with:

It's also yet to be proven that I am indeed "human". 

that lives with monkeys...is that so wrong?

Not at all, especially if they're trained to do all your chores. Then you'd just be the epitome of everyone's envy. If they're "monkeys" strangely resembling the general shape of a "man", then you'd just be all the ladies' envy. 

on Apr 02, 2009

They're trained monkeys that look ike Brad Pitt.

on Apr 02, 2009

Well, that's better than trained Brad Pitts that look like a monkey.

on Apr 02, 2009

Or a Brad that looks like a monkey's pit?..

 

Anyways....I had long hoped for pink space ponies and are now offended at folks toying with my emotions, I will have to send a Email off to support during my 4:00 styling. HG_Eliminator hopes Zu's bro cuts hair better than zubaz, his last one left me lookin like a hairy brad pitt... took me days to get out of KG's dungeon.. err ...basement... 

Tho I have kept the shock collar as I have discovered it enhances certain aspects of my day.

on Apr 02, 2009

jpkylegirl
LOL!  Good one.  "Shirley Hendzell"... I almost forgot that nickname!  I was just thinking "I don't remember a Shirley... I remember a Curt..."  Highlander... I'd watch those new hairdressers coming in... they like cutting hair just below a pony...

~Nickie

Highlander sends some luv to Nickie, how ya been?

 

on Apr 02, 2009

[e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e] [e digicons]:karma:[/e]

on Apr 02, 2009

took me days to get out of KG's dungeon.. err ...basement...

So, that's where Monkey #62 went......

on Apr 02, 2009

Very good, but could have improved a bit by adding:

1.)  For the sake of equality on the forums, everyone with over 100 karma will have it reset to 0 (Thinking about it, Stardock should have done that temporarily for the 1st - we all know who would be affected).

2.) The documentary filmed by eet over the past year about the personal lives of randomly selected Impulse users is almost ready for release.

3.) Everyone who orders the "Pink Space Ponies" collector edition will get a tool to unlock the "Space Poines" achievement in SINS.

on Apr 02, 2009

we all know who would be affected

*coughs* Who?

2.) The documentary filmed by eet over the past year about the personal lives of randomly selected Impulse users is almost ready for release.

Only if it was revealed that eets is really Frogboy's alter ego. Well, maybe Nakor. Yeah, I think Nakor would work better.

 

on Apr 02, 2009

Other comments from Stardock staff were positive and all acknowledged that tough economic times require drastic changes to stay competitive.

 

Other comments from customers were negative and none acknowledged that rough ergonomic days require chiroplastic changes to stay attractive -- to both genders of gameplaying or programming.

Pink me a wink, i've got a stink that i think may blink.

on Apr 02, 2009

Pink me a wink, i've got a stink that i think may blink.

I have no idea what this means, but I'm sure they have doctors for that.

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