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After years of the same standard of products, Stardock announces a change in the Consumer Products division. Angela Marshall, former VP of Operations, was named as the new President of Consumer Products. This change came after years of market research and change in the global market. “I know what needs to be done with this company, and I will get it done”, says Marshall.

Marshall is a 14 year veteran of the company and has seen it grow from a three person shop to around 75+ employees and contractors. “We feel she has a firm grasp on what our customers want”, says Mike Crassweller of Stardock’s publishing group, “we are excited to see what these changes will create”.

Marshall held a company press conference early this morning explaining the business plan that she has created for the upcoming year. “It’s bold”, says Shirley Hendzell of Stardock, “But I like it!” Other comments from Stardock staff were positive and all acknowledged that tough economic times require drastic changes to stay competitive.

Stardock will not release the entire new plan, but Marshall did talk about some highlights: “We will be closely looking at our product lineup and revamping a lot of it to meet some key market areas that we are not reaching,” Marshall said. “I feel strongly that we are missing out on female, metro-sexual and alternative lifestyle customers.” Marshall announced that the first project to be put in play will be a Sins of the Solar Empire spin off called “Pink Space Ponies”. “Pink Space Ponies is a phenomenon from the original Sins of a Solar Empire game. It created fan sites as well as a booming business in Pink Space Pony hats.” After doing research, we discovered that she was correct. The Pink Space Pony site can be found at: http://www.thespaceponies.com/ and a hat can be purchased from: http://www.darkstaroutpost.com/.

Marshall stated that the changes will not stop there. “We need to revamp our infrastructure.” She said. “Computer programmers are typically male, mainly because more men get programming degrees. However, I feel that we need more females involved in the game process to make the games appeal to our female customers. Elemental is one of the titles that I have been reviewing. It’s great that it is fantasy based, but it definitely is lacking a “Brad Pitt” like character for the women to connect with.”

Marshall also announced layoffs of all the support personnel to make way for hiring out of work hairdressers. “I feel that customers would rather talk to a caring customer representative than a technical geek. Sure, they might not actually get their problem solved, but they will feel good about themselves.” Any other changes to be made? “Of course!” states Marshall, “We also have plans for more pink, purple and baby blue suites and themes for MyColors and WinCustomize”.

If you have any comments or suggestions for Angela Marshall, please email them to: April1@stardock.com


Comments (Page 2)
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on Apr 01, 2009

Any other changes to be made? “Of course!” states Marshall, “We also have plans for more pink, purple and baby blue suites and themes for MyColors and WinCustomize”.

I might be a little weird because of it, but I do like purple. What kind of purple stuff are you guys planing?

As for suggestions, have you guys looked at what youtube is doing?

http://www.youtube.com/t/new_viewing_experience

P.S. If the videos your are watching isn't upside down, try adding a "&flip=1" at the end of the link path.

on Apr 01, 2009

landisaurus
I can dress hair, and salads!   you should hire me

Eww!  Stardock's doing hairy salads now? 

on Apr 01, 2009

“We also have plans for more pink, purple and baby blue suites and themes for MyColors and WinCustomize”.

Anybody up for doing a Sesame Street or Barney skin?

on Apr 01, 2009

highlander
Nice to find out I'm being replaced by a hairdresser... I just want to curl up and dye.

 

 

That, sir, was shear genius.

on Apr 01, 2009

Anybody up for doing a Sesame Street or Barney skin?

Only if they make it so that these skins can play customized sounds on app launches and stuff. Nothing like hearing "I love you!" in Barney's voice every time you launch something.

on Apr 01, 2009

Here's the replacement for Zubaz -

on Apr 01, 2009

Fuzzy, who told you about that?  I was just taking that out of the box!

 

on Apr 01, 2009

Maybe you could also offer limited editions of Elemental, signed by Brad Pitt himself?

Hair dressers to replace support?  I suppose it makes sense if the problem is...hairy. (that was bad)

on Apr 01, 2009

I know what alternative lifestyle means but what the heck is  metro-sexual?

on Apr 01, 2009
Main Entry:   metrosexual
Part of Speech:   n, adj
Definition:   a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males
Etymology:   1994; blend of metropolitan + heterosexual
Usage:   informal
on Apr 01, 2009

You're replacing Zubaz with his brother? Crude.....

on Apr 01, 2009

He'll get paid more, too.

on Apr 01, 2009

And have that excecutive pension package.

on Apr 01, 2009

And all of the booze I've been sending as bribes but he's apparently not been getting. Now we know why.

on Apr 01, 2009

Booze...that was supposed to go to Zubaz?  Ooops....

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